Note to self: Never blog about your vasectomy, with pictures, and expect your player’s parents to not find it.

Those of you who have read this blog for a while know I’m, well, opinionated. I’m sure some of my parents have read my stuff, but that doesn’t keep me from spouting off about this or that. But then my parents are used to it for the most part. I’m just being me.

That said, there are SOME things I’m not sure I’d blog about, knowing I’m just a short Google away from some really weird looks from my parents.

Via Plain Jane Mom, we find Dad Gone Mad not only blogged in, um, graphic detail about his recent snipping, he didn’t think his players parents had anything to worry about except catching a clue about little league:

I assumed my profane, depraved, inappropriate rantings were safely tucked away in this dark corner of the Internet and that my online persona would never be seen by the parents of the children I was teaching to stop sticking blades of grass up their noses and focus on the fucking game.

When the season ended, a gathering of those parents approached me and told me they’d been reading about my nuts on the web. They also said that they strongly considered pulling their children from the team and having their husbands kick my ass all the way to Huntington Beach.

Fortunately, no asses were kicked. In fact, I’m back at the Little League field to work with YOUR children. Surprise!

Here are a few things you’ll want to remember as we hold hands and skip through another season of misplayed grounders, erroneous throws and outfield pee-pee dances:

He then proceeds to explain to his new parents the rules according to Coach. In no uncertain terms. You have to read it all. That take brass ones. I’ve been known to set a parent or two straight, and my seasonal ‘Welcome to Soccer’ emails to our parents are legend simply because of their length. However, I don’t think I’ve ever been quite as direct as Dad Gone Mad. #3 still has me laughing.

Have you got a gem of an email you send to your new parents each year? It’ll take something special to top Dad Gone Mad, but share anyway!

UPDATE: And no – I’m not advocating Dad Gone Mad’s coaching style. I just found this situation very funny. We all have interesting stuff out there online. You should Google your name sometime, in quotes. If your name is unique enough it can be kind of scary. I found some really good rants of mine from WAY back that I had forgotten about 🙂 Have your parents Googled you?