Clearly my life isn’t going to get ‘less busy’, so I need to just start setting aside some time each week to write. I miss it and blame my DVR! (and the new business, and soccer, and more soccer, and having four kids, and so on 🙂 )
I guess I need to catch you all up on the past year with a few posts. For those of you new to the site, I’m one of those crazy people who coaches a number of teams, most with no kids of my own. One of those teams is a ’96 girls travel team called The Lunachicks. Coaching this team has been an amazing experience because we’ve encountered all manner of things in the few years we’ve been together. I’ve certainly learned a lot coaching them. Last year we struggled with the decision to move up to the next level and in March were seeing some encouraging signs. Click the team name above to see other interesting things we’ve done, like playing in a sandstorm, freezing rain, and so on. Last March was about the time I stopped writing regularly and that’s unfortunate because as a team we went through a range of emotions and as a coach I learned a lot. I’ll admit I felt like it was all my fault and why should I write about what I hadn’t done right or didn’t know. Stupid, I know, but the way it goes. So time to catch up.
We had a few post season tournaments, and our first only added to confusion. We played three Challenge level teams (one level below where we played) in our group and beat them handily, allowing just one goal. Our last group match we won 5-0 in what probably was the best match this team had ever played. They played with an insane amount of confidence, moved the ball very well, and played their hearts out. I wish I had video taped it. So we made the semifinals and were facing a VERY strong team from Tennessee. The girls played well, but we let in two bizarre goals (punts that bounced right outside our penalty area and floated in under the crossbar – twice) and never recovered. So the girls were disappointed, but they had played as a team that weekend and the drama, fighting, and bickering had subsided. We closed the season at the beach in a tournament we didn’t do well in BUT got to wear our new ‘3rd Kit’ sleeveless jerseys that the girls loved.

The Lunachicks at the Seaside Classic
So we closed out a disappointing and difficult season with a weekend at the beach. Their uniforms certainly grabbed people’s attention and got many positive comments from other team parents and players alike. When the sky opened up in our first match, raining so hard you couldn’t see the parents across the field, the uniforms came in handy as they were quite visible. But overall we had a lot of fun despite going 0-3, went to the beach, and closed out a very difficult season.
My main worry was would the girls stick together. Many were grumbling about quitting, going to play elsewhere, or just not playing any more – they could play for middle school the next year. I was heart broken because I had advocated they move up and on the surface it seemed to be a big mistake.
What had gone so wrong? Looking back, naming captains was a HUGE blunder. It created much tension on the team and was a clash of personalities the girls weren’t ready for. Had I moved them to a level beyond their abilities? I still don’t believe so. We matched up quite well to the teams we played, and the stronger the team, the stronger our performance. But we weren’t shooting – at all – and rarely played like we did in practice. We might out possess a team, but let them break away a few times, score, and lose. It was crazy. The girls had skills but no confidence to use them. So what else might be going on?
I’m not one to make excuses and know there are decisions I made that season that weren’t ideal. But I also started to think back to some of the other travel teams we had that had recently gone through U12/U13, and every single one had ‘drama’ in a certain season. Our league’s first U12 Girls travel team had a miserable Spring season – the girls and parents fighting, the coach suspended, and just general chaos. Was there something to that ‘Spring U12’ season? I’d heard other coaches talk about it, but it didn’t register. Then one of the coaches of the boys teams talked about his Fall U13 season, where the boys were so out of control, he laid his coaching jersey on the ground and told them all ‘I’m DONE unless you all start to respect me and each other’. My son’s team, Fall U13, same thing. Kids bickering, fighting, miserable and not playing well. Multiple players quit or threatened to. What was going on?
Yes, I know it’s obvious when you lay it all out like that, but I’ll admit I was completely unprepared for it. We jokingly call it the ‘Season of Hormones’. For our girls teams, it was Spring U12 and for the boys, Fall U13. That jives with common knowledge that girls start to mature 6 months or so ahead of boys (and that was quite apparent the first time our team scrimmaged the same age boys team in the Spring – they towered over the boys – my son looked tiny. The next season the boys shot up in height and size. But I digress.
I guess the key thing to take away from this is if you haven’t coached U12/U13 kids at a competitive level, you may not be prepared for what happens. This was a year ago for me and to look at the team now compared to a year ago – the difference is amazing. I’ll touch on those differences in a future post. But moving the girls up to a higher level the same season they started to deal with hormones and growing up was a perfect storm.
When the season was over, I caught significant heat as the coach. My team was ‘out of control’, they ‘lacked discipline’, they ‘did not work hard enough’, and more. I’ll admit I made some choices that didn’t help, but addressed and corrected them as quickly as I could. The weeknight trip in the van helped the girls bond and get past some differences, but I was at a loss as to why things had gone so horribly wrong. The knee jerk reaction was “they weren’t ready”, but skill wise they certainly were. Only after a year of reflection and noticing what other teams of the same age had gone through did it hit me that maybe some of the issues we faced weren’t just who we were as a team.
I believe as coaches of teams this age, you have to be prepared for the U12/U13 year in terms of the emotions and mental state of your players. You also need to clue the parents in. Don’t use it as a crutch, but certainly let them know that they’re in for a heck of a ride. Striking a balance with your players can be tough – come down too hard on them and they’ll quit. Give them too much freedom and they’re likely to be out of control at best or very divisive to the team at worst. I’ve seen teams this age torn apart or lose some of their best players because the hormone storm got out of control because the coach didn’t know what to do or ignored it as ‘boys will be boys’. I consider myself VERY lucky as there was a risk the girls would just go play elsewhere last May. In the end they all came back except for one who chose to play travel basketball. So what exactly did I learn that they didn’t teach me in D Class?
- Be prepared for it. It may not happen at exactly the same time, but one or two of the four U12/U13 seasons will be tough for your team.
- Balance being strict with being understanding. If you’re too strict, the kids will quit in frustration. If you’re too lenient, you risk alienating others on the team.
- Be understanding – the kids will lash out at times. Control it or even better try to intercept it. But if all you try to do is contain it with discipline, be prepared to lose players.
- Keep the parents in the loop and let them know you’re doing your best to mitigate the issues, but having them on the same page – your page – will help. Even just preparing them for it will help – otherwise you’ll have some parents resenting others as proxies of their kids who may be struggling with their emotions.
- If you coach girls, be prepared for Jekyll and Hyde. One day a player will be happy, the next, in hysterics because a teammate said something to them during a game. With boys the same situation exists, but they tend to lash out vs show their emotions. In short – expect the unexpected.
- Don’t think just because a player is being quiet or stayed out of the fray that they aren’t struggling. Some will just ride out the storm and be fine, while others will be internalizing pressures and at some point will have to release it.
- Be very careful how your actions are interpreted – talk to one player too much and suddenly you’re playing favorites. That can be true at any age, but at this age, players are very sensitive to it. Naming captains when I did was a huge mistake.
- In larger leagues it’s easy to brush aside the drama as troublesome players, etc. because they can easily be replaced if they quit or are encouraged they “aren’t ready emotionally” for competitive soccer. That’s not fair to the players – sure some MAY be troublesome and not a good fit. But in U12/U13 there is MUCH more at play and you risk alienating kids who may end up as team leaders or top players down the road.
- UPDATE: Another aspect of larger vs smaller leagues is the kids can count. In small leagues where there’s only one team per age/gender group, the players know they aren’t likely to lose their spot if they misbehave or don’t put in effort. In larger leagues, the risk of losing one’s spot is always there. It’s a strong motivator.
Do I have all the answers? Hardly. I expect I’m a few years away from coaching another team through U12/U13. We’ll see if goes a bit better. I’d love to hear from other coaches who have coached competitive teams through these years. What did you encounter and what worked for you or didn’t?
The good news is, a year later, the team is still together and playing better than they ever have. But that’s one of many future posts.
March 18th, 2010 at 2:37 pm
Great sharing!! And thanks for coming back! My daughter is in U9 rec and she hopes to try out this spring for Select here in Wake County. Your site always offer so much insight for coaches and parents.
Enjoy the Spring season!
March 22nd, 2010 at 3:31 pm
My D license (up in New England) did spend a bit of time going over the different psychology of the U-12/14/16 groups, both age and gender. I also like the fact the sports trainer lecturer spent some time on the physical differences and the relevance to structuring different training approaches between boys and girls.
Agree on captaincy. My approach from U-9 through U-12 was to appoint two different players each week as game captains – run the warm-up, check the field conditions with me (also quiz them on which side of the field we might want and how the playing conditions might impact play), coin-toss, and lead the team on/off the pitch. A new coach came in for the spring season (I had to take a new team that required a D license coach) and immediately held a “captains vote” where he counted the ballots (each player had 2 votes) and his daughter and another player (who was good, but shaky in her commitment and definitely at this point a follower, not a leader) “won.” I put in paras because the coach did not release the results and of course, the girls among themselves did the “did you vote for her?” chatter and determined (in their minds) another girl got more votes. Whether true or not, the whole issue has become a distraction for weeks.
One question that they didn’t cover in the D – since you carry over from U12 to U13 (I prefer to think of them as first year U-14s), did you really want all of them to return in terms of developmental progress as opposed to their merely wanting to return? I think accurate player evaluations are a tough component, especially when you carry the same players for a couple of years, and then translating those evaluations to placing players with the right team. As you note, it’s a different dilemma when you have a bigger base so players on a “B/C” level team feel they have a shot to make the “A” team the next year. The difficulty for some clubs is a coach gets the initial crop of “good” players and they stay together for 2+ years and then roster decisions get based on relationships/friendships as opposed to evaluation criteria. I was with one club that won a great deal of B/C level league championships, but never the A level. The coordinator said the “A” teams need “role players” (code for keeping kids who had not developed as much as the other kids on the team and had been passed by kids from lower level teams in my opinion) in defending why teams basically stayed unchanged from U-9 through U-13 as opposed to relooking at rosters each year based on evaluations or not forming “balanced” teams at U-9/10 as opposed to creating “A” and “not A” teams at an early age.
March 22nd, 2010 at 8:47 pm
A few thoughts…
I did the same thing with the captain thing. Picked two at random or under the guise of who had ‘worked hardest’ in practice the previous week and did the same – have them think about what side to pick, etc. But as they got older and moved ‘up’ to the next play level, seemed worth a shot to name captains (I didn’t do a vote – just picked two girls) But it was a mistake for sure.
As for the roster decisions, so far our club has done whatever it could to keep the roster decisions objective. Coaches don’t evaluate their age group. Roster selections are done by committee of all the travel coaches/evaluators. Coaches get some input, but usually can only affect the ‘bubble’ spots – the last couple spots on a roster. It hasn’t been perfect, but overall tends to help ensure the best rosters are formed. But there will always be controversy or hurt feelings when someone is told no.
Player evals are paramount – I just seem to run out of time to do them on time. Am trying to get started early this year to get them taken care of.
As for players sticking together or not – we’ve had a core of about 8-10 players who have played together for 2+ years. I think it’s been helpful to the girls as they are used to each other and are better at anticipating what their teammates will do. But if we had enough girls to form two teams, we’d certainly have some movement between teams – probably 2-4 players. Don’t think that’s a bad thing – so long as the decisions are based on ability and potential and not friendships.
As for U9/U10 – so far the balanced roster thing has worked out well. Funny to watch one team’s parents talk about how the other team isn’t as skilled when that team is ahead of them in the standings. Best part if our two U10 boys teams are VERY close in terms of record and goals scored/allowed and are playing the in same division – so it’s working. When they move up to U11, we’ll take make true A/B teams, even if it means friends are put on different teams.
One of the hardest things in youth soccer is putting policies in place that do what’s best for player development and then standing your ground when parents complain Johnny can’t play with Sam.
March 24th, 2010 at 2:47 pm
Thanks. We went to Zoom reports (no affiliation!) to put evaluations on-line. I love it, but the problem we still have is getting all coaches on an objective footing as to what “1” through “4” mean. We have used terms such as “superior” or “average” and then tried “at peer” “above peer”, etc. The problem we run into is one coach’s “3” (on a 4 pt scale) might be another coach’s “2” so it’s hard to then use “the numbers” for comparison. Then, it becomes coach x versus coach y opinion. (this is a big issue in our tryouts as evaluators take a group through the whole process as opposed to seeing each kid in one specific area).
March 24th, 2010 at 4:27 pm
Agree 100% on getting the evaluators to agree on a given score scale, but if you average the scores out, it can still provide useful insight. If eval A scores one kid a 4 and another a 3, while eval B scores the same kids 3 and 2 respectively – then it averages out.
It’s not perfect, but overall it’s going to provide you with a solid view of the kids in rank order. Any exceptions can be taken care of in the eval meeting – where a kid who was sick or had a bad tryout, but is a known quantity can move up to a slot. The key is having enough people present to ensure that’s not abused to favor some kid for reasons other than skill/ability/potential.
March 24th, 2010 at 5:49 pm
My opinion is that if you have enough evaluators, then the differences in evaluating style will even out. For example, one evaluator might evaluate low for every player and another high for every player, while another evaluates a certain skillset lower than another evaluator, etc. So have five evaluators and, importantly, make sure the same five come to every evaluation of a given group!!
My thought, too, is that if a coach does not evaluate their own kids, then it’s easier to make cuts … but it’s also unfair, because tryouts are a few hours on one or two days and some kids try out well and disappear on the field and others try out poorly but have the heart of a lion in a match. A coach knows their own players.
Last year, as a coach returning to a club I had not been with in a decade, I got to evaluate players. In fact, one group I evaluated ended up being my team — although at the time I had not been given a team to coach and I expected to be an assistant, at best. So, for the most part, I did not know the kids who were trying out.
Evaluating the strong and weak players is easy; they stand out. It’s the kids in the middle that are tough to figure out. My preference for evaluations this coming June, in addition to the technical rigmarole the club puts the kids through, is to have the kids play some 3v3, 4v4, then 7v7 matches — that’s where I do my best work as an evaluator.
Of course, having gotten to know my players over the past year (about 18 games in the fall, 14 games over the winter, and probably 8-10 or so in the spring), I can pretty much pre-evaluate them all. And, having been observant around the club, I have a handle on which kids are the year behind, and an idea about those who might be coming from rec. to try out.
And then there is the friendship side of things. If I have a kid on the edge whose parent coaches another team, assists another team, or is on the board of the soccer club, then that kid gets a spot because doing so helps the club, versus a kid on the edge whose parents are not involved. What about the kid who’s on the edge whose parents are troublesome to deal with … yup, someone else gets that spot.
All that being said, I rostered 15 for 7v7 last fall (took as many u10s as I could, especially since I didn’t know them, there was a chance some would quit early on–none quit and all attended every match). I ran two teams indoors this winter (for playing time, 2 subs max), and am going to run two teams outdoors because I have at least 18 interested in playing for me for spring and a strong possibility of 22 … for 7v7/8v8 … (no cuts there, either, taking as many 10s as I can). Which is to say, I try to find ways to get kids to play.
Anyway, this is u10. u8-u10 is developmental. Who knows how a kid will develop. Moving forward to the summer tryouts and next fall at u11, however, will be tricky for me because I’m going with one team next fall, so ….
Thoughts?
Sean
August 3rd, 2010 at 10:55 am
Sean,
Meant to respond to this earlier…
In age groups where we have one team, we max out the rosters to ensure as many kids as possible can get developed. If we can make multiple teams – great. So we sacrifice some playing time due to smaller rosters to give more kids the opportunity to develop at a higher level. It’s a trade off. But a worthwhile one, especially at the small sided ages (U12 and down) to help ensure you have enough players to field viable 11v11 teams.
But the more you can keep friendships, agendas, and biased opinions out of evaluations, the better. We allow coaches to contribute to the process, but use a committee to keep things honest. Doesn’t always work – but better than just letting coaches run wild.