We all have seen or heard of parents wanting to dictate how a coach develops their child as a soccer player, but it’s still interesting to see the justifications some parents will make for the interference.
There’s a great thread over at the NC-Soccer forums about an email a local DOC received from a U10 parent:
XXXXX I trust and respect you. I want my child trained to be a striker.
I’m paying $XXX a year. I want a striker. He can use left or right and he has the size and speed.
You coached him in one game into scoring 7 goals. He played on weak rec teams and felt it was his fault if they were scored on and lost so he dropped back on defense. He has scored over 27 goals in the first half of the year, but the last half of the season they have put him on defense or in the goal. I’m paying to develop a striker….
XXXXXX will you please take care of this matter
This is a 9 year old. Some of the responses on the thread are priceless, from the serious and pragmatic, to the comical. My favorite, by far, is this one from FJames:
Our philosophy is to expose all of our players to numerous positions at this early stage in their development. We understand that you would like little Johnny developed solely as a striker and as a paying customer we will honor your wishes. From this point forward Johnny will be limited to the striker role. The playing time he would have had at the other positions will be divided among the other players on the team.
So if you were this DOC, how would you respond?
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March 25th, 2009 at 4:29 pm
After taking over a U11 team from a coach who … let it go, I had a parent at U11 explain to me I should be teaching his daughter and the team to go down like Ronaldo in SCUBA gear looking for an Oscar to get calls from the ref (not his words). I explained to the dad that while I appreciated the input, I would first prefer they learn how to use open space and other basics.
But it happens all the time. At one club, we have a parent shopping around for teams that will only play his daughter on offense at U11.
I had a parent at U12 11v11 town travel level refuse to let me teach her daughter to play midfield, where I thought she was a fit, and only wanted her to play offense. Well, three years later, she’s playing for another team in a premier league and paying $1500 to play … midfield. Go figure.
As a coach, before U13 particularly, it is my job to give the players experience and coach them at a wide variety of positions, left and right, so they are versatile. And that’s what I believe is best for the players, the team, and the clubs. So, it’s what I do.
However, parents with limited vision and strong opinions based on no real experience, education, and training … yeah, they’re everywhere.
Cheers,
Sean
March 25th, 2009 at 7:27 pm
Well said Sean!
March 26th, 2009 at 3:20 pm
All kidding aside here, Mike, I think it’s far too late to deal the parents of this child. I would send them back a reply like the serious one you highlighted above but would say at the end the following:
“While we can assure you that we will play Tommy where we think he is best fit to play on a game by game basis, often upfront as one of our strikers, there can be no guaranty that he will play the majority of his time at the position over the course of our season. As noted above we do not endorse “position certainty” in our league and don’t believe such focus at this age is the best way to excel on the pitch nor to develop individual skills. Further, such an approach abrogates the concept of team, of working together for the common good and not independently for individual glory. If such an approach is no acceptable to you and your family, perhaps you should search for a team and league in the area more compatible with your needs.”
April 4th, 2009 at 4:58 pm
I have had the same problem. The only difference is I’m a high school student that helps with a “Sunday Soccer” program. The father of the girl said he wasn’t going to sit around and watch all the other kids play. So I calmly explained that I wasn’t getting paid to help his daughter get better at the sport I love. He needed to understand I was there giving up my time (four hours every Sunday for 6 weeks and how ever long I was at the tournament that weekend) to help his daughter and other kids learn the game and play it right. After I explained why I was there I then asked him why he signed his daughter up. He then told me that I ether played her or she was leaving. I told the guy that was running the program and he talked to the father. Needless to say the father left leaving the his wife and his two daughters at the tournament without a ride home.