I found this note from an experienced referee (FirstTouch at the NC Soccer Forums) who had an insightful post about the differences in how boys and girls may retaliate at the older ages. The context was a question about how a referee would handle a certain type of retaliation in a girls match:
I’d add that since this is a GIRL’S game rather than a boy’s game, one characteristic difference is that when you ref a girl’s game, you need to be aware that girls are more inclined to bide their time after the originally provoking incident to exact tit-for-tat, and something can happen in the game 20 minutes later that is in fact meant to be the continuation of, or tit-for-tat retaliation for, the original incident. And many girls are somewhat crafty about how they go about it. So if the attacker does get taken down hard several minutes later (or even the center who said the original words in question), I’d be much more inclined to yellow-card the perp than without the context.
Boys tend to immediately escalate from some provocation, and if you can quickly control it (with or without cards), it will far more times than not simply blow over. Shove or hard words tend to be immediately responded to with more hard words and shove etc, with boys.
I’ve found that to be true as well. The boys try to make their point early while the girls will bide their time. Not that any coach would/should advocate retaliation. But with competitive kids, its something you definitely have to watch for. Just figured I’d share – interesting.
March 27th, 2009 at 9:28 am
Oh, for girls often it can go all game. The boys get right in each other’s face right when the incident happens–subbing the players out can defuse it, too, if the coach is paying attention.
With the girl you’ll notice a dirty look the first time, then a nasty scowl the second and you know it’s on. The bad feelings and need to push back carry past any subbing or halftime.
Cheers,
Sean
March 27th, 2009 at 9:58 am
No doubt. And you really have to watch for it. Recent match with my U12s, one opponent had been fouling hard the entire match. I think she had 6 or 7 by the end of the match (no card – which should have come out after 3 or 4). Mid 2nd half, this player gets the ball on the wing and makes a run. My center midfielder came flying in and did a textbook slide tackle, sending this girl flying. My player hopped up with a grin from ear to ear.
I had to strain to suppress mine and when she came off soon after we had a serious talk about risk of injury and if she was going to slide like that she had to be damn sure she had the timing right to hook the ball, otherwise she could really hurt someone.
But it wasn’t until the ride home that I made the connection as to WHO she tackled and why. I don’t advocate slides and there are only three girls on my team who have my tacit permission to do so since they have repeatedly shown they know how to do it. But still – it was funny how this girl did one tackle the entire match, and it was later in the match against the player fouling us over and over. Coincidence? I think NOT! 🙂
March 27th, 2009 at 12:10 pm
My daughter will get up in an opponent’s face and yell at her to stop shoving, holding, hacking, whatever. And she does this loudly, not only to make sure she has the other girl’s attention, but also to get the ref’s attention. If the behavior continues, you can be sure that a hard shoulder or hip check is not too far off. My daughter tells me that most of the time, the unwanted behavior stops “after I knocked her on her butt.” She’s a card waiting to happen.
It’s amazing the number of simmering little grudge matches you can see developing during the course of a girls’ game if you pay attention. Then all of sudden someone ends up on the turf, and half the adults are wondering “What brought that on?”
March 27th, 2009 at 12:12 pm
Jenn – no doubt. I found it funny the first time I described a player going down so hard that they had to ‘spit grass out of their mouth’ I was describing a girls match, not boys.
March 27th, 2009 at 3:56 pm
Mike, Jenn do you find that the retaliate later mentality carries over from game to game? Is there a make up/payback thing for girls the second time the teams play during the season? I tell my kids “foget what happened last game” but it seems that both boys and girls (we play co-ed and generally play teams twice) don’t necessarily listen.
March 27th, 2009 at 4:22 pm
I can’t say I’ve really paid attention since we only play teams once a season unless we face them in a tournament. Plus I’ve only really noticed the retaliatory tendencies cropping up at U12. Not so much when they were younger. My girls hardly remember what a score was with a previous team, so not sure if they’d remember a player or not.
March 27th, 2009 at 4:52 pm
I haven’t seen it (yet) with my daughter’s team, although they will remember a player who is exceptionally big or rough. The one girl they all remember is on a team out of SC – she kept pinching the players marking her on the backside! Some of our girls stayed away from her – which I think was her objective with the pinching – but my daughter, true to form, slapped the girl’s hand when it came in for the pinch.
Among some of the older girls, I’ve seen the “retaliate later” mentality carry over not just from game to game, but from season to season! “That girl fouled me hard last year, and I’m gonna pay her back today.”
April 4th, 2009 at 4:20 pm
As a player I see this a lot on the pitch. About half the guys on the team always have something to say about one of the other players, myself included half of the time. My teammates all watch out for one another on the pitch. The league that the team is in is so small that the teams from the same area watch out for each other too. Our rivals, only on the pitch, tell some of our guys about their game and if there was anything going on with players be extremely rough. So, some of our guys get retaliation for other team’s players just because we are so close.
The thing I have seen with the girls at my school and even at the upper club levels around the area they like to make sure their retaliation is well known. Maybe we just proud girls in the area, I don’t really know, but some of the girls know how to do it. The other team usually know what’s going to happen when they see a particular player coming at them.
May 19th, 2010 at 8:35 pm
My daughter will get up in an opponent’s face and yell at her to stop shoving, holding, hacking, whatever. And she does this loudly, not only to make sure she has the other girl’s attention, but also to get the ref’s attention. If the behavior continues, you can be sure that a hard shoulder or hip check is not too far off. My daughter tells me that most of the time, the unwanted behavior stops “after I knocked her on her butt.” She’s a card waiting to happen.
It’s amazing the number of simmering little grudge matches you can see developing during the course of a girls’ game if you pay attention. Then all of sudden someone ends up on the turf, and half the adults are wondering “What brought that on?”