Comments on: Sitting Back or Taking Risks? http://onthepitch.org/2009/02/16/sitting-back-or-taking-risks/ Thoughts on Youth Soccer from a Soccer Dad, Fan, Coach and Administrator Thu, 18 Mar 2010 14:47:50 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.2 hourly 1 By: Soccer Dad http://onthepitch.org/2009/02/16/sitting-back-or-taking-risks/comment-page-1/#comment-53096 Soccer Dad Mon, 09 Mar 2009 14:32:20 +0000 http://onthepitch.org/?p=1284#comment-53096 Yeah - not sure. I tend to over communicate. So far it hasn't caused too much of an issue and often will get parents harboring latent concerns to reply to me with them - helps keep things from pressure cooking. I'd rather be too approachable to my parents than not enough. Every match is followed by a 'Coach Mike epic email' just talking about what worked, what didn't. Do all my parents read it? No. But many do. That said - you have to know how to communicate. My daughter played for a coach who was a horrific communicator and it led to a LOT of parent discontent. So like you said - it CAN do more harm than good in some cases. For me so far, it hasn't, but we'll see. Yeah – not sure. I tend to over communicate. So far it hasn’t caused too much of an issue and often will get parents harboring latent concerns to reply to me with them – helps keep things from pressure cooking. I’d rather be too approachable to my parents than not enough. Every match is followed by a ‘Coach Mike epic email’ just talking about what worked, what didn’t. Do all my parents read it? No. But many do.

That said – you have to know how to communicate. My daughter played for a coach who was a horrific communicator and it led to a LOT of parent discontent. So like you said – it CAN do more harm than good in some cases. For me so far, it hasn’t, but we’ll see.

]]> By: seanb_us http://onthepitch.org/2009/02/16/sitting-back-or-taking-risks/comment-page-1/#comment-53095 seanb_us Mon, 09 Mar 2009 14:28:29 +0000 http://onthepitch.org/?p=1284#comment-53095 Yes, the club should have behaved differently--unfortunately, that club's girls program hasn't really recovered even though it's been four or five years, but hakuna matata. However, I find that the parents who are with you, like you or how their child is progressing, etc., don't want or need the long explanation. Those many parents who are apathetic about the sport don't care. And, having had grumbling parents on a couple of teams over the years, I find the long explanation doesn't help reel them back in and perhaps gives them information to misinterpret. Of course, don't get me wrong, I think your communication was from the heart and I would have appreciated it, am just in general talking about the pros and cons of sharing detail or not with the parents. Cheers, Sean Yes, the club should have behaved differently–unfortunately, that club’s girls program hasn’t really recovered even though it’s been four or five years, but hakuna matata.

However, I find that the parents who are with you, like you or how their child is progressing, etc., don’t want or need the long explanation. Those many parents who are apathetic about the sport don’t care. And, having had grumbling parents on a couple of teams over the years, I find the long explanation doesn’t help reel them back in and perhaps gives them information to misinterpret.

Of course, don’t get me wrong, I think your communication was from the heart and I would have appreciated it, am just in general talking about the pros and cons of sharing detail or not with the parents.

Cheers,

Sean

]]> By: Soccer Dad http://onthepitch.org/2009/02/16/sitting-back-or-taking-risks/comment-page-1/#comment-53093 Soccer Dad Mon, 09 Mar 2009 14:07:14 +0000 http://onthepitch.org/?p=1284#comment-53093 I think each situation is different. In your case, the club didn't back you - and that's rough. We also had a team in our club that absolutely should have gone Classic this season, but didn't because of a couple of parents. The trick is this - our club requires parent buy in only for mid season move ups. In May after tryouts - the league decides where to place teams with input from the coaches and evaluators. Our club also will NOT allow players to move between teams mid season, to try and prevent much of the difficulties you noted. Not fair to kill a team because parents think the grass is greener elsewhere mid season. I think clubs really have to have well laid out guidelines for what they'll do with travel teams, player selection, and placement. But even with all that, when you have a couple of parents who are sowing discontent, it can be extremely difficult to overcome. I've been VERY lucky with this team in terms of my parents and the league was supportive of our move. I think each situation is different. In your case, the club didn’t back you – and that’s rough. We also had a team in our club that absolutely should have gone Classic this season, but didn’t because of a couple of parents. The trick is this – our club requires parent buy in only for mid season move ups. In May after tryouts – the league decides where to place teams with input from the coaches and evaluators. Our club also will NOT allow players to move between teams mid season, to try and prevent much of the difficulties you noted. Not fair to kill a team because parents think the grass is greener elsewhere mid season. I think clubs really have to have well laid out guidelines for what they’ll do with travel teams, player selection, and placement.

But even with all that, when you have a couple of parents who are sowing discontent, it can be extremely difficult to overcome. I’ve been VERY lucky with this team in terms of my parents and the league was supportive of our move.

]]> By: seanb_us http://onthepitch.org/2009/02/16/sitting-back-or-taking-risks/comment-page-1/#comment-53092 seanb_us Mon, 09 Mar 2009 13:55:30 +0000 http://onthepitch.org/?p=1284#comment-53092 I dunno. I have found that sharing long communications like that sometimes backfires with some parents. I have never truly figured out the parent angle ... there's always that one clique of 2 or 3 who seem determined to grumble loudly. And, there's often one parent or a small group who will upend a team that's losing games as it learns. I had a group of U11s, good kids, first time playing travel for half the team. Before the season, I tried to get the parents to agree to play U12 rather than U11, because I knew the current U11 division was really tough (I'd coached quite a few girls from that division in premier soccer the years previous) but perhaps I shouldn't have been so democratic, because two parents rallied most to say no, even though in pre-season friendlies we were 2-0 versus U12 opposition and 0-3 versus U11 opposition. So we played 11v11. I worked hard with these guys, I made it clear my plan was to run the team all the way thrugh U14, but halfway through the season those same 2 parents unhappy with a losing record, they started grumbling, my club didn't back me, ended up 5 players up and went to another team in the same club (without anyone consulting me) at the end of the season (we went 2-4-1 or something like that plus 1-2-1 in a tournament, not bad in my opinion for a brand new team with players new to competition-travel), which stranded me with 11 to play 11v11 the next season (spring). (At that time, our U11 and U12 divisions played full-sided, now they both are 8v8.) I worked hard to find a couple of extra players, ended up with 14 (three subs), moved the entire team up to U12 (because I knew the U11 division was particularly tough), won over 50% of our games that spring season (went 5-2-1 or something along those lines). Of those 5 girls who left my team, only two were playing the sport a year later ... I guess they didn't like the team they moved to either ... and my club ended up losing me as a coach over it. So, I don't know ... I haven't found that lengthy explanations work any better than no explanations regardless of your intentions. Sometimes, I think it is just better to make the decision and not attempt to get buy in. Cheers, Sean I dunno. I have found that sharing long communications like that sometimes backfires with some parents. I have never truly figured out the parent angle … there’s always that one clique of 2 or 3 who seem determined to grumble loudly. And, there’s often one parent or a small group who will upend a team that’s losing games as it learns.

I had a group of U11s, good kids, first time playing travel for half the team. Before the season, I tried to get the parents to agree to play U12 rather than U11, because I knew the current U11 division was really tough (I’d coached quite a few girls from that division in premier soccer the years previous) but perhaps I shouldn’t have been so democratic, because two parents rallied most to say no, even though in pre-season friendlies we were 2-0 versus U12 opposition and 0-3 versus U11 opposition. So we played 11v11.

I worked hard with these guys, I made it clear my plan was to run the team all the way thrugh U14, but halfway through the season those same 2 parents unhappy with a losing record, they started grumbling, my club didn’t back me, ended up 5 players up and went to another team in the same club (without anyone consulting me) at the end of the season (we went 2-4-1 or something like that plus 1-2-1 in a tournament, not bad in my opinion for a brand new team with players new to competition-travel), which stranded me with 11 to play 11v11 the next season (spring). (At that time, our U11 and U12 divisions played full-sided, now they both are 8v8.)

I worked hard to find a couple of extra players, ended up with 14 (three subs), moved the entire team up to U12 (because I knew the U11 division was particularly tough), won over 50% of our games that spring season (went 5-2-1 or something along those lines). Of those 5 girls who left my team, only two were playing the sport a year later … I guess they didn’t like the team they moved to either … and my club ended up losing me as a coach over it.

So, I don’t know … I haven’t found that lengthy explanations work any better than no explanations regardless of your intentions. Sometimes, I think it is just better to make the decision and not attempt to get buy in.

Cheers,

Sean

]]> By: Soccer Dad http://onthepitch.org/2009/02/16/sitting-back-or-taking-risks/comment-page-1/#comment-53091 Soccer Dad Mon, 09 Mar 2009 13:43:51 +0000 http://onthepitch.org/?p=1284#comment-53091 Thanks - we had a very shaky start, but the girls shook it off this weekend. Post with all the gory details coming soon. Thanks – we had a very shaky start, but the girls shook it off this weekend. Post with all the gory details coming soon.

]]> By: Eric from Attacking90 http://onthepitch.org/2009/02/16/sitting-back-or-taking-risks/comment-page-1/#comment-52799 Eric from Attacking90 Sun, 08 Mar 2009 03:00:17 +0000 http://onthepitch.org/?p=1284#comment-52799 Fantastic stuff. Nice to see a coach sharing about this aspect of team management. Finding the right level of competition seems to be the perennial challenge in soccer. With youth there is the confidence/ego complication as well. After all we want them to be challenged, but not demoralized; to have a steep hill in front of them, but one they can climb successfully and crow from the top of. Hope it goes well - good luck! Eric Fantastic stuff. Nice to see a coach sharing about this aspect of team management.

Finding the right level of competition seems to be the perennial challenge in soccer. With youth there is the confidence/ego complication as well.

After all we want them to be challenged, but not demoralized; to have a steep hill in front of them, but one they can climb successfully and crow from the top of.

Hope it goes well – good luck!

Eric

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