13 responses

  1. Ed Hawkins – Zenmaster
    February 26, 2009

    I think that there is a reason that kids leave that is hidden within all of this. Perhaps it is implied in this article. The simple reason is that coaches and trainers need to build strong relationships with every player. Players will remain with a program if they know they are cared about (not on an administrative level) on a deep personal level. The other point to make is that youth soccer is very easy to quit (or change teams) and this should be revisited.

  2. Soccer Dad
    February 26, 2009

    How would you make it harder to quit and would that help? Nobody wants a miserable player – you have to fix the root cause like you suggest.

    It’s just like with recruiting. I totally get why recruiting is forbidden for players mid season, BUT you have to give kids an out to get out of a bad situation. ‘Tough it out’ only goes so far. My daughter went through that and toughed it out at her parents urging and she almost quit soccer because of it. Thankfully she got a new coach the next year and all wounds were healed.

  3. Ed Hawkins – ZenMaster
    April 1, 2009

    Hey Soccer Dad – I have instituted a policy that any player can leave my club at any time as long as I get an honest reason so I can avoid the problem in the future. I also call every coach after each weekend and discuss the performance of the players and how each of them are doing. Then I email or call some of the parents each week to capture their feedback. I walk the fields during training and catch a player or two on water break and ask them how they are doing and what would improve the experience. They are all very honest. Lastly, I serve as the skills trainer for every player in the club at least once per week to show I canre about their technical development and know their names and nicknames.

  4. Soccer Dad
    April 1, 2009

    It’s all about the communication! Good stuff!

  5. Brad D
    July 14, 2009

    I am a 19 year old – I’ve been playing soccer ever since I was 3 years old, and I am about to quit soccer from my college team. I stayed with soccer through out my entire high school career because I loved my team mates, and the coaches actually made it fun to play (not to mention I was good at it).

    As soon as I entered the collegiate level, it began to SUCK. I no longer had any fun at all. Everyone takes soccer way too seriously, and I feel all the fun has been sucked out of it. I’m in it for fun – not for winning, stats, a career, or anything else. If my coach had been more relaxed and care-free, I would have loved to play for him, but when I realized he only cared about winning, I dreaded soccer.

    So personally, soccer is about fun – nothing more. And when the fun is all gone, soccer is pointless.

  6. jose
    December 30, 2009

    hey Brad you are not a soccer player, are you telling me that you dont want to win and your coach just want to win …its for that you want to quit, probably you are not a great player and you are not in the level of the rest…every sport in the world is about winning …if you dont care about winning go to play recreational with 4 and 5 years old kids …they dont keep scores loser…

  7. Brad D
    December 31, 2009

    Well Jose. I only have one thing to say to you.
    I was the captain of my H.S. team my junior and senior year. I made the All-Region team both of those years, I made the All-District team all four years of my High School career. And I made the All-State team my senior year.


    That link just goes to show that I made All-State (my last name is Dobberfuhl).

    I don’t like it when people assume things just because they have a different mindset. Yes, winning is awesome, but when that’s all anyone cares about, it is not fun any more. If you are in it just to win, that’s fine – I’m not. So please, next time, be a little less quick to ridicule.

  8. EJ H
    January 5, 2010

    hey brad, ive been playing soccer for 7 years and it was my life. ive recently joined a new team and theyre all about becoming college/professional worthy. im undefeated with the team and were a pretty good team and all. but i 100% agree with you, im not having any fun whatsoever and i feel pressured to play and its just a big stress factor. i play my best when im having fun and goofing off sometimes. but when its strictly business, i have no enjoyment in it. a lot of my friends are on the team and they had a passion just as much as i did, but when it hit me that i have to be my best constantly i began to lose interest which is why i want to quit now.

  9. B.B
    April 8, 2010

    The reson My son quit was because he wasn’t having fun. It was so competitve and he was new to the team. All the other boys didnt really make friends with him.

  10. Bob
    April 12, 2010

    Brad – While I agree soccer should remain fun, you have to know when you play collegiate soccer, your coaching staff is being paid by the school to win (within the appropriate rules). Their livelihood (while it may vary depending on the program) depends on performance and compliance. I want my employees to enjoy the work environment, but we still have to make and sell our products because it’s not fun to get laid off. I’m not sure the AD at your school is going to excuse consistently losing seasons as long as “everyone’s having fun.”

    Again, there is a balance and the coaching staff has to realize they coach soccer players, not soccer (the game teaches soccer, the coaches put the players in the right environment with the right equipment and the proper guidance). So “fun” should be in there, but the balance tips more to winning the higher you go (which I would think you would have an appreciation for given your background).

    If the balance at the collegiate level is not to your liking, you should do exactly what you did. Leave the team and find an adult men’s league with the right balance. Get your coaching license and volunteer in local youth leagues to ensure fun is a big part of the youth experience (especially at U-10 and below).

  11. maddy
    November 24, 2010

    Honestly I’m a 15 year old girl/soccer player, and I’m playing at a high level and recently I’ve been feeling so stressed out about my life. My priorities have always been soccer, but recently my friends and school have been more of a desire for me. I’m thinking about quitting or taking a break but I feel that in my mind I already know that I want to quit. I dont know how I’m going to tell my dad because he’s the one that always takes me to the practices and games and plus he’s already spent so much money for me and I feel like I would just be letting him down. But if I’m not enjoying it anymore why would I want to put myself throught that? And my sopt on the team could be an opening for a player more passionate than myself. And I have a good relationship with my coach, he’s dealt with the same things as me. And on my soccer team we have an amazing bond but I feel that I can still succeed without soccer to guide me.

  12. notintowinning
    March 17, 2012

    i quit soccer because i felt pressured to make THE perfect pass and be THE best player which i wasnt.alot of my team mates get mad at me only during the game because i cant pass it to them.all the other people on the team play really well except me and my coach says i shouldnt qiut but should you really play a sport you dont like?when i played freely id have alot of fun and actually steal the ball while during the game, i get scared of the ball.i have low self esteem and no confidence which i believe is needed in soccer to be a good player. so i quit and now the team is winning.i think it was a very good choice for me and them.

  13. q
    April 16, 2012

    This is quite funny, because i quit soccer when I was 13.

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