Here is a pet peeve of mine and I see it all too often. This weekend our U12 girls and boys played home matches with the same center referee calling both matches – he called solid and fair matches for both teams, except for one thing. During the U12 match a girl tripped up one of our players, who staggered, but kept her balance and the ball, then was completely taken out by the same girl. It was clearly a yellow card. The ref called her over, talked to her, took out his book, wrote something down, and never showed the card. But it was obvious she had been carded and the match report confirmed it.
Fast forward to the U12 boys match. Hard foul by a player. Referee walks over to him, talks to him about the foul, and pulls out the yellow for all to see.
Can someone explain to me why you would show a yellow card to an 11 year old boy but not an 11 year old girl? That drives me crazy. Have I seen girls cry when they got yellow cards? Yes. Does that mean they shouldn’t be shown for girls? No. One of the biggest challenges as a girls coach is to get them out of this social expectation that they can’t play physical soccer with intensity.
I know this is such a minor thing, but it’s annoying as hell. Whenever one of my players gets a card, I specifically ask the referee to show it. That’s the whole point – making it clear that what they did stepped over a line. They aren’t all delicate flowers that will crumble if they’re called out on a dangerous play. You could argue that the girls most likely to get cards are those most prepared to handle them being shown.
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October 5th, 2008 at 9:12 am
Girls are tough and should handle the same lessons as the boys.
August 2nd, 2010 at 11:57 am
First, I agree with you. A cautionable offense is a cautionable offense. Yellow cards are to be shown to boys and girls.
I want to throw out a possible explanation here. Maybe the referee just forgot to pull the card. Sometimes when a referee is out there, he can get so focused on getting his documentation correct, he forgets to perform the procedure. The league wants to know the player’s number, time the offense occurred and the offense committed. It is possible that the referee was so focused on getting the documentation right that he just restarted the game after he wrote it down. It may have nothing to do with boys and girls. The fact that he pulled the yellow card in the next match for a similar offense may mean he realized that he forgot to pull it in the previous match. Without asking the referee we will never know.
You said at the beginning of the post that you see this all too often. If this is a pattern of behavior by referees in your league then the referee assignor know about it. I’ve worked with several assignors and their referees are a reflection on them. If a referee is consistently not following a procedures, the assignor will want to work with that referee so he can improve.
I believe most referees try and get it right and I hope you have a good relationship with the officials in your league. Just as coaches love good officials, officials love good coaches. Please, gently let the referee assignor know what is going on so the laws can be consistently applied.
Finally, I agree with your point that the players most likely to commit the dangerous play are most prepared for the consequences. I have found that to generally true. Great post
August 2nd, 2010 at 12:09 pm
This is actually something I’ve seen across the state, be it match play or tournaments. Not something a single assignor will do. And I get they might forget to pull the card – if I see them writing, good enough in most cases. But I still believe most do NOT want to pull cards at younger ages and many refs will say that up front – even in their pre match talks at check in. The unwritten rule seems to be cards at younger ages only in the most egregious of circumstances and only when they reach High School age is it ‘OK’ to dole them out.
The one exception was the State Cup. Being U13 last season, we got to play in our first State Cup and the refs were VERY liberal with their cards, even carding two players who did a brief ‘shoe shine’ skit after a goal. In the semifinals we even had 4th officials – was pretty cool. But I digress.
I’m not asking for an avalanche of cards. I just think there are too many cardable fouls that get let go with at best a warning and free kick when the opportunity to teach a valuable lesson is lost.
August 3rd, 2010 at 2:52 am
Do you think this may be coming from the leagues more than the referees? USSF spends a lot of time talking to referees about developing game management skills rather than pulling cards all the time, but you’ve got to call the fouls and if a challenge is reckless then it deserves a yellow card.
In my opinion, when dealing with younger players the key to showing a yellow card is the explanation of why you are cautioning them. If you tell the players why, then there is no need to worry about crushing the “Delicate Flowers”. If we, as referees, just blow the whistle, write down the caution, show the card and line the kids up for a DFK, then we have neglected a chance to improve the players. I wish some referees took youth soccer more seriously. It is so much fun to be out there and it really is an honor to be part of the game.
August 3rd, 2010 at 11:42 am
I don’t think it’s the leagues. We stress to our referee assignor to have the refs SHOW the cards when appropriate. But coaching travel and experiencing referees from across the state – it’s state wide but not sure why. I’ve not SEEN official communications about it. They may exist since I’m not a certified ref, but have soccer friends who are that I’m sure would mention it.
I agree 100% – like any major call in youth soccer – explain it. The best youth refs in my opinion are those who take the time to, even briefly, explain to players why a call was made. Happened to my center back one. She slid in from a rear angle – not exactly behind, but not from the side either. Ref yellow carded her. She had NO clue why she’d gotten booked. I spoke to the ref afterward and she explained she had come from behind. So the team and I had a good discussion about red cards, sliding from behind, and being lucky 🙂